So You Think You Can Dance?

Not really. I don’t think I can dance at all. That is why I enrolled in a Hip-Hop Funk class at Vanderbilt. The first class was this week and let me tell you what…I looked ridonkulous. But the instructor was very upbeat and fun, and Susanna and I just had a total blast! I have already practiced my moves and can’t wait until the next session. Hopefully, some folks will beg out because with 52 bodies in a dance studio hip-hoppin around, it gets a little stuffy. Not to mention, when a move calls for “kickin’ it out”, best believe I gonna need a little space.
Watch out! I’m gonna bust a move the next chance I get! However, it might look a little out of place if the next chance I get happens to be downtown at a honky tonk.

Better Than Original Version

I am rather tired of hearing wind bags blow on and on about the war in Iraq. Totally sick about it. So in lighter news, I will hop on the truly “fluffy stuff” bandwagon and post this video. Twins doing an acoustic version of Britney’s new single, Gimme More. Clearly better than the original. Move to Nashville, sons, you’ll get a record deal.

Aged Beefcake

Aged beef past its prime was on the menu tonight at Ruth’s Chris in Nashville. If you recall, the last time I ate there was Valentine’s Day….that is the longest I’ve gone between visits and my waitress noticed. Anyhoo, with my New York trip, there are only so many weekends in a month. I digress…

Tonight, aged beefcake was on the menu…I sat next to one of the Nelson twins, of the group Nelson (you know, the twin sons of Ricky Nelson) and across the bar from Nick Lachey. Which is so ironic because I was just making some jokes about the midwest and Ohio in particular when Ed starts cracking up. I thought I was just particularly funny. No such ‘luchey’. Ed was laughing at the irony of the poster boy for Ohio (or maybe just Cincinnasty) walking by as I was cracking a joke. Either way, whatevs.

Please note, it is VERY un-Nashville to gawk and get star struck so of course I took no pictures. I mean, I didn’t take pics last week when I sat next to Jeff Fisher (Titan’s head coach) when we got our hairs cut, or of Demetria Kalademos (local news anchor) when we were buying techie crap, or of Eddie George (who actually I’ve met on several different occasions, even while we were both @ OSU) when I saw him out and about.

At any rate, it made for a hilarious dessert course. Nick Lachey. LOLz….ps: in case you are wondering Vanessa Manilla-envelope was not with him.

OFOP

[Old Folks On Parade]

Sorry you all, I have been slammed at work and Boot is living up to its name, as in Das Boot up my arse. UGH! Went to see Bang Bang Bang on Friday night and that was rockin’. We might have been the oldest people there, even among those hidden in the balcony away from the fray, but it was wild. As the Designated Driver, I was happy slammin’ water, even if the 19 year old bartender frowned every time I walked up to the bar. Hilarious. Brat. So, to further my quest for ultimate squaredom, I asked her for change from my $1 bill to buy ear plugs from the vending machine.

Not only was I completely out of touch on the beverage front, I clearly was out of touch on the music front. The first opening band, The Secret, was TERRIBLE. It was not rock and roll, it was crap. Sorry, gang – you blow. The best thing about this band was the tubby guitar player sporting the super-tight cigarette jeans. LOLz! Made my night! Seriously, the set was like 7 songs too long.

The next band, unbeknownst to me, has generated a TON of industry buzz. Cage the Elephant, out of BLOWING Green, I mean, Bowling Green, KY, seems to be pretty hot $hite. I didn’t particularly love them, but the front man boy (I swear he is not old enough to shave) was quite charismatic. Kind of Mick Jagger meets Axl Rose. So, in O-Town math where “Y” is zero:

(Mick + Axl + noise) x (Y)beers = irritating^9.

The song Ain’t No Rest was very good, but the cut on myspace is lame. So, hopefully they’ll change that for a single. At the end of the set, the guitarist (as seen on my flickr) stage dives in the the crowd of 15. He ’surfs’ around for a sec and upon landing stands up and pukes his guts out! LOLOLOL! Like 4 times!! And no one cleaned it up! I swear, it was the huge-est puddle of ick I’ve seen in a long time. Later on that night, I saw him ordering more beers from the bar! Thanks, dude, I am still laughing! Way to boot and rally!

Bang Bang Bang was really good and the Dazed and Confused look is obviously back in, but by the time they went on at midnight I was wiped. So wiped in fact, I didn’t even make it to see Cold War Kids on Saturday. Boo. Lame.

Missed a Good One!

ARGH! Last night The Pink Spiders debuted some new songs @ Mercy Lounge – and Bang Bang Bang played too! I can’t believe I didn’t go. Grr. Why do I think 9p is too late for a school night?! So disappointing.

In related news, one of my fave juvenile bands, which happen to be from Nashville, is getting ready to release a new album. Hot Action Cop, while silly, does make you want to turn up your radio. Their single, Fever for the Flava, was kinda my theme for some “extreme” marketing I did back in school for Sobe chocolate. Hilarious.

Here is their video – just so you can laugh today!!

Bonnaroo Update

Ok….I think I have the perfect Bonnaroo solution! Yipee!! I mean, there was a snowball’s chance in hell I would actually camp at stupid Bonnaroo, but I am much more likely to do the following: hit Ed’s friend up for tickets, backstage passes and hitch a ride to and from Bonnaroo in his damn limo. That’s just how I roll. Swoop in for a show, go home and sleep in civilization. Ride in a limo, eat food meant for a human. No camping, no hippies, no primitive bullshit. YAY! Police, here I come!

Fun Fest

Whew! What a day yesterday was!! I had gotten up early to work on some stuff for work, so when lunch time rolled around I was ready to have some FUN. My buddy, Justin, was in town from Chicago with his younger brother, Seth, so I met them out at Sportman’s Grill so I could eat lunch…and enjoy the bloody mary bar. I do lurve me a bloody mary bar…

After a few jokes, some fish and chips, and random catching up, I thought we might want to do something. Country Music Hall of Fame? No. Frist Center? No. Bowling? Big yes. Ok, I have not gone bowling in, hm, 10 years or more…why this struck the Gernot brothers as the perfect thing to do in Nashville is beyond me. But off we went to Pla-More Lanes near my work. Awesome, I was wearing boots…so when I put on the rental shoes I had super groovy white tube socks sticking out. Sweet. Picks to follow – my camera needed recharging and I didn’t take any photos during our bowling adventure, but Justizzle did.

Justin and Seth are good Ohioans…and that means they are killer bowlers. I am not so good. Seth was killin’ it with easily over 130 every game…me, after three games I think I might have totalled just a smidge more than that! Hilarious. I started bowling with a 13 pound ball…so after just a few frames my arm was exhausted! When I switched to a much lighter ball it FLEW down the lane – I might as well have thrown it overhand. Poor lane got a work out. HA HA HA! As we were packing up to leave, I got a text from another friend, Mason. They wanted to meet up at Yazoo Brewery. SWEET! So we bopped over there, or tried.

I’d never gone to the Yazoo tap room, so I wasn’t really sure where it was located. I called 411, but Yazoo never picked up the phone. We stopped at Judge Beans BBQ for directions, no one there knew…We finally pulled up a laaaaaaaaaame map on Justin’s blackberry and finally found the place. Yummo! Yazoo makes a mean Hefeweisen, but I really lurve their rye hefe called “Roggen”. Should have gotten a growler.

Couple of pints later, Justin and Seth go to meet up with a mutual friend of ours and I head out to Robert’s with Mason and his wife Jen. Mason wanted to grab a cab, so we park back at Judge Bean’s and call one. We waited for AN HOUR. Unfortch, the Detroit Redwings were in town playing the Preds, and it was raining, so there were no cabs to be had. Mason finally flagged down some dude from Oklahoma who offered us a ride the 6 blocks to Roberts. Niiiiiiiice. Hitching. But before we left, I snapped this picture of AutoVaughn doing a sound check across the street at 12th & Porter. Check 1, 2, 1, 2.

Mason, Jen and I hang out at Robert’s, but then I left to head back to 12th & Porter for the AutoVaughn gig. It was pouring rain, the Preds game had just let out and downtown was packed! I couldn’t get a cab to save my life! So, for some stupid reason, I decided to hoof it. MORON. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Luckily, Ed, Evan, Vecci and…the surprise guest of the evening, MITCH, happened past on their way to 12th & Porter. WOOT! Gimme a ride, boys!

We finally made it, parked and went in. I love this venue and the band didn’t disappoint. I didn’t catch the opening acts (like I ever do… ), but AutoVaughn totally rocked. Check my vid – I hope it isn’t too tinny. The only bummer was this: I forgot my earplugs. Boo. Oh well! Great day, great show!

To Bonnaroo or Not To Bonnaroo….

Let me just clear something up. I don’t camp. I don’t sleep outside and I hate outdoor potties. Roughing it – to me- is a standard Hilton. Another thing: I don’t do music festivals. Well, except SXSW and JazzFest, or any festival where there are decent hotels.

Bonnaroo has none of those things going for it. Bonnaroo is held out in the middle of bumblef*ck Tennessee (um, coincidentally not far from where I live) and every year thousands of burnouts and dirty hippies and college tools come from all over the world to play in the rain and mud, get dirty, smell, get high and listen to some tunes. Pretty much sounds like my worst nightmare.

Except, this year…this year some killer acts will be playing! UGH!! Dare I rent an RV (yes, it has to be someplace where I can sleep, shower and go to the bathroom in PRIVATE) and spend three days and nights surrounded by….oh god….hippies?! PS: save flaming me – I know who goes to Bonnaroo, I live here for Pete’s sake. Burn me when I am out of line, not when I am stating the obvious.

Am I willing to suffer for art? For The Police? The White Stripes? The Flaming Lips? Franz Ferdinand? Gov’t Mule? The Decemberists? Kings of Leon? Old Crow Medicine Show? Lily Allen? North Mississippi All Stars? Cold War Kids? Brazilian Girls? I mean, could I?! I must admit, this is tempting. It could be funny, or even fun…

Stay tuned….

Pissing Off Rednecks = Good Career Move + FUN

Sorry, my last post kinda got me inspired to post this blurb from the Village Voice, by Nashville Scene freelance writer, Chris Neal.

The Dixie Chicks’ decision to release “Not Ready to Make Nice” as the first single from their Taking the Long Way album was the music world’s single finest piece of performance art in 2006. Lead singer Natalie Maines’s mild Bush-bashing at the outset of the Iraq war had gotten the group booted from country radio in March 2003, but the ensuing three years had proven that she (and her fellow Chicks, who shared her views) was simply well ahead of the curve: The war had become an unmitigated disaster, and Bush’s approval rating had plunged. March 2006 was the perfect time for country radio to quietly welcome the Chicks back into the fold, and most of Taking the Long Way offered just the kind of earthy, melodic mainstream country that would really hit the spot between regular toxic exposures to Rascal Flatts.

Instead, the Chicks chose to hand country radio the one song on the album that programmers absolutely could not have inserted into their playlists without admitting their jackassery of three years prior. “Not Ready to Make Nice” was a pointed diatribe aimed at those who denounced and even threatened the trio in 2003, a period vividly documented in the recent documentary Shut Up & Sing. The promo copies of “Not Ready” may as well have been labeled “Stick This Up Your Ass.”

Hearing “Not Ready” for the first time (especially in the context of its Crucible-inspired video, which addressed the latent misogyny beneath much of the backlash) offered a transgressive thrill that no other piece of music could in 2006: the spectacle of three young women announcing that they have no intention of conveniently forgetting just who steamrolled their CDs and dropped their songs from the air in order to curry corporate favor with a government that wished to see them silenced. It was a great big, beautiful fuck-you.

Coolfer is Cool

Hey, I know that Nashville is primarily known for country acts…although some of the best refuse to be affiliated with Music Row or are rejected by the Row and its cronies (Dixie Chicks, Alison Krauss, Kasey Chambers, Chris Knight…even the legendary Johnny Cash has given Music Row the finger). In fact, a lot of country music that is embraced by Music Row is, in my opinion, criminally vulgar. Yes, that means the likes of you, frosty-tipped Rascal Flatts.

But what is not so well known are the hip alternative acts that thrive here, like The Raconteurs, Kings of Leon, Bang Bang Bang, and Pink Spiders.

Check out a fellow Vanderbilt / Owen b-skooler – although I’ve been out for a few years now – and his pretty cool blog, Coolfer. He has a lot of cool flickr pix from venues around town and the hot bands that play here.
WOOT! SEE Y’ALL, NASHVILLE CAN BE COOL!